The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
