How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
