should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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