im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We have started to decorate penises.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sorry about my life...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
