TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
