i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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