O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
