What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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