Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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