You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
