he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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