i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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