I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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