So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
