I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
