so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize