And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
