when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
