Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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