the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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