Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
