you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
