You can't special order awesome
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He passed out mid-signature
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
