I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
