nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
