my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
