Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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