I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I had to cum in my sink.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
