Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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