what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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