i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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