I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
