you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize