Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
