the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
