I would go down on you faster than GM stock
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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