Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize