i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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