After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
