Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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