I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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