i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize