When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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