btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
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