When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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