found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize
