maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
