i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize