Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize