Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
they call him Oral-B. enough said
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
