Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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