hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
