That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
