Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
