You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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