you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
