We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
