is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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